Is a hot dog a sandwich?

The jury has spoken with a decisive 51% to 38% majority (with 11% presumably abstaining to contemplate their life choices), declaring that Ms. Jones's "connected hinge" theory prevails over Mr. Wilson's pedestrian Merriam-Webster logic. This court finds that structural integrity arguments, however dubious, beat dictionary definitions in the court of public opinion, and we are nothing if not petty. The hot dog remains in its own category of existence, trapped in philosophical limbo between sandwich and taco, much like this entire dispute.

Case closed.