A family rift over whether attending a destination wedding is mandatory when money is tight.
My sister Megan is getting married in Greece. The trip would cost my partner and me about $4,500 (flights, hotel, 4 nights). We're saving for a house and I told Megan I can't swing it. She offered to help with $500. I said I appreciate it but that still leaves $4,000. She said I have a year to save and "it's her one special day." I offered to throw her an amazing local engagement party and send a generous gift. She cried and said I'm "choosing money over family." My parents are siding with her, saying I'll regret not being there. I love my sister but I'm not going into debt for a wedding abroad. She chose the destination knowing not everyone could afford it. She says I'm the only close family member not coming and it'll "ruin her photos."
Riley is my only sibling. I have been planning this wedding for two years. I gave everyone 14 months notice so they could save up. I offered to cover Riley's hotel, which would have dropped the cost to under $2,500 for two people. Riley said no. Riley spent $3,200 on a ski trip with friends four months before my wedding. I am not asking Riley to go into debt. I am asking Riley to prioritize my wedding the same way Riley prioritizes vacations with friends. I will remember this forever.
⚖️ The Verdict Is In
🤷 You're both right (it's complicated)
33 people weighed in on this dispute.
Official NACOL Ruling
# OFFICIAL RULING: Not A Court Of Law
The Court finds that with a 33% to 27% split, this tribunal has determined that both parties are technically correct, which is the worst kind of correct. Megan's generous hotel offer (dropping costs to $2,500) and advance notice were admirable, yet Riley's $3,200 ski trip objectively proves one can save when properly motivated, making this a tragic case of competing financial priorities rather than financial impossibility. The remaining 40% of jurors, presumably too wise to choose sides, have rendered this Court unable to declare a winner.
Case closed.
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